She has a heart bigger than pain and hate. A princess who rescues herself. These are her adventures.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Inkblots: I Thought
As you look back, you realize that so many things in life happen - things that pleasantly surprise you; things that make you feel happy; things that make you feel blessed; and things that hurt you.
Of all the things that can happen, getting hurt is probably what we never want to experience, but it happens.
It's been a while.
I thought that the worst has happened but looking back now. I realized that life has been kind to me.
There are things that we want for ourselves- a good career, a happy life, a wonderful family. I was close to having those. Or so I thought.
It was devastating to be betrayed by someone you trusted. But it happened.
But after months, I realized that those things happened because God had a better plan for me. I have never really gotten things figured out yet but I am praying I will in God's time.
I have learned though that moving on is a gift you owe yourself.
I have learned to see myself in a different way. I learned that life is a balance of the good and the bad. That sometimes, it is okay to do things you don't usually do. That perhaps the best thing that can happen to you is the one you never planned or dreamed of.
I learned that it is okay to dress up, have yourself made up and dine in a fancy restaurant without you planning it.
I figured it is good to go out, embrace the trees, appreciate the mountains, bask in the sun. I learned that the world is a big playground and I haven't been playing enough.
I realized God will have His way of surprising you. Perhaps the best surprise of this journey is God's way of sending someone in the most unexpected way. He came unannounced and even if I know he is not gonna stay, I am more than thankful he came.
He made me see that I was that "intelligent girl from UP". He would engage me in intellectual discourse. He made me feel that my opinion on politics, philosophy, relationships and life, in general are valuable.
He made me realize that I can be kalog, talkative, crazy and not bore him one minute.
But that's not all it was.
I learned now that moving on is a process I need to respect. That I can cry all I want but I should also know when to pick myself up. That relationships, like trust, are fragile and shouldn't be played with.
Most of all I learned that I can be alone and not feel the void of the person who left.
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